Who Wants To Live Forever?
by Alexa Aurion
Summary: When Kratos sees Anna's grave at Dirk's house, he thinks about his past a little... And then his son, who he lost so long ago... [OneShot]


Hey, y'all! Just me, Alexa Aurion. New ficcie! One shot, Kratos' PoV… Songfic… ummm… Set near the beginning of the game, when Colette and the others visit Lloyd at Dirk's place. Kratos spoilers! (Better safe than nowt…)

Disclaimer: Me no own no trademarks, songs, games, companies… You name it, I don't own it! (Probably) So, duh, I don't own Tales. Never have, never will.

The song is... Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen. I think it suits Kratos... In some ways...

Oh, sorry if Kratos acts OOC. I think it's hard to write him like he is in the game, but I'll try to keep him IC. Okay, trying starts now…

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While Lloyd spoke with the Chosen, I surveyed the clearing he called 'home'. His attitude seemed reminiscence of …Anna… but how? We only had one child, who we named… Lloyd. No. I shook myself mentally. It has to be a coincidence. It _has_ to be.

I noticed a gravestone behind the house, surrounded by a few bunches of flowers. Could it be…? It was around here where she died…

My heart pounding in my mouth, I read the shakily carved inscription:

'In loving memory of Anna' – there was a gap, where I presumed the inscriber would have added her surname, had they known it-

'A dear mother, wife and daughter.

Requiescat in pace.'

I swallowed. Anna… My darling Anna…

_There's no time for us;_

_There's no place for us._

_What is this thing that builds our dreams,_

_Yet slips away from us?_

_Who wants to live forever?_

_Who wants to live forever…?_

_Ooooooooohhhh…_

She had been the only one who trusted me fully; the only one who loved me for who I am, despite my past fraternizations with the Desians. Any one else, even some one not in Anna's dilemma, would have ran the moment they learned the truth, and almost certainly sealed their fate.

What a damned idiot I was that day. _I _led her here, by foot. _I_ sealed her fate. _I_ killed her. My disgust and resent towards my angelic 'gifts' killed her. That day was the worse day I have experienced in all of the 4028 years I've been alive. Even worse than the day Martel died, worse than when Mithos revealed his grand design, worse than the multiple times I was almost killed in the Ancient War, worse than the life or death situations I was in because of my rebellion against Cruxis… Nothing even came remotely close… yet.

My heart torn, my hopes shattered, I returned to Cruxis upon Mithos' pleas. But for what? To live to this day, to kill another innocent soul…Damn it all, this is too inhumane; no, it is mindless slaughter.

Nothing could change the past, my sins. Not even Origin. I wouldn't allow it. I alone caused it, and I alone must endure the consequential pain for the remainder of my… existence.

_There's no chance for us;_

_It's all decided for us_

_This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us._

_Who wants to live forever?_

_Who wants to live forever…?_

_Ooooooooohhhh…_

Eternal life… What a joke. Perhaps we both would have been better off if I had not descended upon Sylvarant when I did. I knew her life would end before my eyes, yet… against my better judgment, I… stayed with her.

_Who dares to love forever?_

_Oh…_

_When love must die._

Anna Aurion, my wife. My beloved Anna… How I longed to hear her laugh, to watch her cry, to hear her speak… To see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept… to stroke her soft umber hair… To hear her swear at me, even. She was the one that opened my eyes, the one who made me see all the suffering caused by Cruxis. She may have done it unintentionally, but she did it, and I was grateful.

But how did I repay her? By leading her to her death, that's how!

I would truly give anything to be reunited with her… but that _would_ be selfish…

Somehow, I feel almost… happy. I always understood graves to be places of mourning, not happiness. Perhaps I was wrong…

Angel transformations take everything that makes you human, and destroys it. Even hunger, happiness, sadness, sleep and touch cannot escape its dark grasp. For that reason, I felt… empty… lost, like a child in a bustling market, separated from its mother. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I wanted to kill myself, but I couldn't. Damn.

Anna always knew how I felt, though I hardly showed any emotion. She would always appear when I was contemplating my future, which always brought me down. Strange… I never quite understood how she knew, but then again, did I need to?

_But touch my tears with your lips;_

_Touch my world with your fingertips._

_And we can have forever,_

_And we can love forever._

_Forever… is our today._

Suddenly, a thought struck me. I this was my Anna's grave… Lloyd said that this was his mother's grave in the argument we'd overheard just before… then perhaps… could it be? Could he be my son? Is it possible that he survived the fall?

How can I know for certain? I last saw my son when he was barely three… Maybe it isn't the same boy… After all, Lloyd is a common boy's name… unlike mine.

How can I try and worm the truth from him without him becoming suspicious?

"…Kratos?" I tensed at the boy's voice. How did I not hear his approach?

Then, the penny dropped. I knew exactly what to say.

"Whose grave is this?" I enquired, turning to look at the nervous seventeen year old.

"Oh, you heard, right?" I took it he was referring to the argument we'd overheard. "It's my Mom's," he continued.

"Anna… hmmm…" I murmured. He is my son. That was easy enough. I was glad he took after Anna- appearance-wise at least; he seems to have inherited my temper from when I was younger- rather than taking after me. It would make my later actions… betrayal… ever so slightly for him, not me. It makes everything ten times harder! I ventured further, "Is your father still alive?" _Yes, I bloody well am!_ (A/N: The OOCness has begun)_ He's standing right in front of you!_ I screamed in my head. _I'm your father, Lloyd, and a seraph of Cruxis! I killed your mother, and now I'm going to kill someone else close to you!_

"I don't know," Lloyd admitted. _He is! He didn't fall off the cliff! _I hollered mentally._ I abandoned you instead, _ I added sadly.

Annoyed, I pulled myself out my thoughts in time to hear Lloyd continue, "But Dirk is my dad." That… had been obvious; staring me in the face. And I still failed to see it.

I broke the short uncomfortable silence by saying, "Hm, indeed. That was a foolish question. I apologise." (A/N: I guessed there, so… I might be wrong.)

"Hey, don't worry about it." Lloyd gave an assuring grin before he turned back to his friends.

I couldn't believe it. Does he actually trust me? This is insane; how could he know my intentions? He puts his trust in mr, and then I fail him, because I'm a coward. A coward who gave up on his wife and son when they needed him the most.

"Lloyd… Please, forgive me…" I whispered to the winds as we left to return to Iselia. "Someday, you'll understand…"

_Who wants to live forever?_

_Who wants to live forever…?_

_Forever… is our today._

…_Who waits forever anyway?…

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_

Yeay! I finished it! …Finally…(I've been on it for weeks)

So, how was it? Good? Bad? Okay? Confusing? (I hope not…) Please review!


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